I get that transitions take time, but apparently I have little to no patience. People ask me how things are going and I always say they are "fine" or "going well," which is technically true, but I also feel like there is frequently an underlying sense of frustration. It seems like no matter how much I learn, how many questions I ask, or how many things I get accomplished I am still behind the curve. I realize part of this is just the nature of ministry. There are always too many things to do and not enough time in the day to accomplish them. There also a few people in the congregation who always make me feel judged, like I'm definitely behind the curve, and I'm simply not measuring up. Again, all part of ministry. I guess I'm just feeling a bit whiny. In a few minutes I will do my first pre-marriage counseling with a couple, and again, I only sort of know what I'm doing. The grace in this particular chaos? Um...I'll get back to you on that one.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Fun Weekend
This past weekend was busy and a lot of fun. Friday night I left the church and drove 2 hours north to a friend's house for an Olympics opening ceremonies party. I grew up in a family that didn't really watch the opening ceremonies much, so it was fun to hang out with a bunch of people and watch some amazing pageantry. I spent that night at another friend's house, and then on Saturday drove 4 hours east to RAZS's. I even took Sunday off. First Sunday I've had off since February, if I remember correctly. It was lovely to sleep in and not worry about being up for the 8:00 service. Of course, I'm now completely confused as to what day it is, but I figure that's an OK price. Sunday afternoon we hiked up to Memorial Falls, which is the picture above. The hike was great, and then we hung out and watched the Olympics. Good times. Yesterday was RAZS's 30th birthday. Happy Birthday! So, after driving over 500 miles I came home and got to go to always fun and exciting meetings at the church last night. Today my parents were in town, so between more meetings I hung out with them and got spoiled a little bit. Mom enabled my shoe habit and bought me the cutest part of taupe, heeled, mary janes. Sigh.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Friday Five--Summer
1. What is your sweetest summer memory from childhood? Did it involve watermelon or hand cranked ice cream? Or perhaps a teen summer romance. Which stands out for you?
My great-aunt owned an island on Flathead Lake where we had family reunions every summer on the 4th of July. It was one my favorite things to do ever summer even though the water was always freezing. We used to sit on the point eating watermelon and spitting the seeds into the lake. I was always convinced that one summer I would come back and there would be watermelon growing in the swimming area.
2. Describe your all time favorite piece of summer clothing. The one thing you could put on in the summer that would seem to insure a cooler, more excellent day.
In high school I had a green sun dress that I loved. It was cute, it was comfortable, it made me feel attractive. It hasn't fit in years...
3. What summer food fills your mouth with delight and whose flavor stays happily with you long after eaten?
I love love love cherries.
4. Tell us about the summer vacation or holiday that holds your dearest memory.
The 4th of July reunions come to mind, of course. One summer when I lived in TX my aunt and I spent a few days in Austin. It was 113 and muggy as heck, but road trips with her were always fun, and she can make me laugh like crazy.
5. Have you had any experience(s) this summer that has drawn you closer to God or perhaps shown you God's wonder in a new way?
I wish I had a really deep and profound answer to this one. I've been walking a lot this summer, and some of the views of the valley that I see in my neighborhood are pretty incredible.
Bonus question: When it is really hot, humid and uncomfortable, what do you do to refresh and renew body and spirit?
Hot and humid usually makes me cranky. I'm happy to be living in a place that is less humid than places I've lived before. But when I can't avoid it, finding some place to go swimming is always a nice option. If not, I like to lay in front of a fan with a big glass of ice water, read, and try to forget that it's sweltering.
My great-aunt owned an island on Flathead Lake where we had family reunions every summer on the 4th of July. It was one my favorite things to do ever summer even though the water was always freezing. We used to sit on the point eating watermelon and spitting the seeds into the lake. I was always convinced that one summer I would come back and there would be watermelon growing in the swimming area.
2. Describe your all time favorite piece of summer clothing. The one thing you could put on in the summer that would seem to insure a cooler, more excellent day.
In high school I had a green sun dress that I loved. It was cute, it was comfortable, it made me feel attractive. It hasn't fit in years...
3. What summer food fills your mouth with delight and whose flavor stays happily with you long after eaten?
I love love love cherries.
4. Tell us about the summer vacation or holiday that holds your dearest memory.
The 4th of July reunions come to mind, of course. One summer when I lived in TX my aunt and I spent a few days in Austin. It was 113 and muggy as heck, but road trips with her were always fun, and she can make me laugh like crazy.
5. Have you had any experience(s) this summer that has drawn you closer to God or perhaps shown you God's wonder in a new way?
I wish I had a really deep and profound answer to this one. I've been walking a lot this summer, and some of the views of the valley that I see in my neighborhood are pretty incredible.
Bonus question: When it is really hot, humid and uncomfortable, what do you do to refresh and renew body and spirit?
Hot and humid usually makes me cranky. I'm happy to be living in a place that is less humid than places I've lived before. But when I can't avoid it, finding some place to go swimming is always a nice option. If not, I like to lay in front of a fan with a big glass of ice water, read, and try to forget that it's sweltering.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Random Reflections
Some thoughts from the past week:
The Hell's Angels have been in town. I really haven't seen much of them as I've driven around, but I had someone come into my office to comment on the article in the local newspaper. It said that the group only accepts whites and she was quite upset about the lack of inclusivity. I wasn't sure what to tell her about that.
The graffiti has been painted over and so far no new incidents (knock on wood).
I've been having weird dreams. One night I dreamt that I had babies: Patrick and Zoe. They were very cute. The next night I had a HUGE black widow spider descending from my hair. It was not cute. Huh.
I got to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone today. For work. With the rest of the staff. Some days I love my job. We were previewing it for a movie night we have once a month. Hopefully no one will yell at me over the choice, but if they do I guess it will be a chance for some dialog.
I'm taking Sunday off! First Sunday off in months, so I'm looking forward to it.
The Hell's Angels have been in town. I really haven't seen much of them as I've driven around, but I had someone come into my office to comment on the article in the local newspaper. It said that the group only accepts whites and she was quite upset about the lack of inclusivity. I wasn't sure what to tell her about that.
The graffiti has been painted over and so far no new incidents (knock on wood).
I've been having weird dreams. One night I dreamt that I had babies: Patrick and Zoe. They were very cute. The next night I had a HUGE black widow spider descending from my hair. It was not cute. Huh.
I got to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone today. For work. With the rest of the staff. Some days I love my job. We were previewing it for a movie night we have once a month. Hopefully no one will yell at me over the choice, but if they do I guess it will be a chance for some dialog.
I'm taking Sunday off! First Sunday off in months, so I'm looking forward to it.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Friday Five--Locked Out
From RevGalBlogPals:
For some reason, Blogger declared this blog possible SPAM and locked us down yesterday. This morning, we're free to post again, but there was a fair amount of excitement last night among our contributors, who found a dire notice on their Blogger dashboards threatening that this blog might be deleted in 20 days! We requested a blog review, and I posted a request at the Blogger Help group, where I found we were not alone. Many other perfectly nourishing and cromulent blogs got the same notice last night. This turned out to be a very small barricade in our blogging community life, but it seemed appropriate to explore locks and blocks and other barriers this week. Also, I liked the picture of the security team above! Could they be Blogger's Spam Prevention Robots, working overtime? In honor of their efforts, I bring you the "Lock Me Out, Lock Me In" Friday Five.
1) How do you amuse yourself when road construction blocks your travel? Music is always good. And people watching. Who's annoyed and who's not? Who's annoyed but handling it well? Will anyone yell at the flag person? Are there any cute construction workers? How about scary ones? If I have a good, though, and it's going to be a long wait, that's usually the option I'll take.
2) Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? (And do you keep an extra key somewhere, just in case?) I seem to be notorious for locking myself out. House, car, church. The latest was just a couple of weeks ago. So far with the new apartment I've been really careful about always having my house key in my purse, and this day was no different. I'd double checked, and the key was in my purse. Unfortunately I was packing the car to go to bible camp for the week and in my capacity as pack horse I thought my purse was one of the bags I was carrying. No such luck. The locksmith was nice, though. And I now have a key secreted away in case of further lock outs.
3) Have you ever cleared a hurdle? (And if you haven't flown over a material hurdle, feel free to take this one metaphorically.) I suppose I could come up with an answer for this one, but I'd rather just post one of my favorite pictures of one of my favorite people:
4) What's your approach to a mental block? Generally I get cranky or panicky, depending on how much time I have. Sometimes I use it as an excuse to procrastinate, but that often makes things worse later. I'm also fortunate that when I do have a mental block ideas will frequently come to me in the shower. Now if I just had a waterproof laptop...
5) Suggest a caption for the picture above; there will be a prize for the funniest answer! I don't have a good suggestion for the picture above, but I think the little construction guys are cute. Captions aren't my strong suit, but I left the question, b/c otherwise this would only be the Friday Four!
For some reason, Blogger declared this blog possible SPAM and locked us down yesterday. This morning, we're free to post again, but there was a fair amount of excitement last night among our contributors, who found a dire notice on their Blogger dashboards threatening that this blog might be deleted in 20 days! We requested a blog review, and I posted a request at the Blogger Help group, where I found we were not alone. Many other perfectly nourishing and cromulent blogs got the same notice last night. This turned out to be a very small barricade in our blogging community life, but it seemed appropriate to explore locks and blocks and other barriers this week. Also, I liked the picture of the security team above! Could they be Blogger's Spam Prevention Robots, working overtime? In honor of their efforts, I bring you the "Lock Me Out, Lock Me In" Friday Five.
1) How do you amuse yourself when road construction blocks your travel? Music is always good. And people watching. Who's annoyed and who's not? Who's annoyed but handling it well? Will anyone yell at the flag person? Are there any cute construction workers? How about scary ones? If I have a good, though, and it's going to be a long wait, that's usually the option I'll take.
2) Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? (And do you keep an extra key somewhere, just in case?) I seem to be notorious for locking myself out. House, car, church. The latest was just a couple of weeks ago. So far with the new apartment I've been really careful about always having my house key in my purse, and this day was no different. I'd double checked, and the key was in my purse. Unfortunately I was packing the car to go to bible camp for the week and in my capacity as pack horse I thought my purse was one of the bags I was carrying. No such luck. The locksmith was nice, though. And I now have a key secreted away in case of further lock outs.
3) Have you ever cleared a hurdle? (And if you haven't flown over a material hurdle, feel free to take this one metaphorically.) I suppose I could come up with an answer for this one, but I'd rather just post one of my favorite pictures of one of my favorite people:
4) What's your approach to a mental block? Generally I get cranky or panicky, depending on how much time I have. Sometimes I use it as an excuse to procrastinate, but that often makes things worse later. I'm also fortunate that when I do have a mental block ideas will frequently come to me in the shower. Now if I just had a waterproof laptop...5) Suggest a caption for the picture above; there will be a prize for the funniest answer! I don't have a good suggestion for the picture above, but I think the little construction guys are cute. Captions aren't my strong suit, but I left the question, b/c otherwise this would only be the Friday Four!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Transitions
Tomorrow is August 1st which means I'll have been at my first call 3 months (in the grand scheme of things: no big deal, but on a smaller scale, where did those 3 months go?). At any rate, I'm fast reaching that place where I can no longer play the "I'm new here" card. For some things I'll still be able to pull that one out, but for others I need to actually know what the heck I'm talking about. I don't know what I'm talking about. Except that I do. Sort of. Maybe. I'm an I on the Myers Briggs, which means I think a lot before saying or doing things (and yes, I know, sometimes I should think more or make sure the filter is engaged before speaking). For the most part, though, I like to think and ask a lot of questions, maybe read some books, talk to other people, read some more books, ask a few more questions, write 100 or so pages of notes, and then possibly read just a few more books or resources before jumping into things. That doesn't work in ministry. I know this, but it doesn't stop my natural inclination to procrastinate by reading or writing or asking more questions. I had a long conversation about youth and family ministry today with another pastor, and it turns out that I have a lot of good ideas, that I actually do sort of know what I'm talking about, which is good considering that this is one of the things I'm responsible for in this call. My big hurdle is taking what I know and putting it to use. Where to start? How to use the systems already in place? How to overhaul systems that aren't working any more? All of this writing and thinking (and procrastinating) lead up to one conclusion: I like to do things right. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but I know that I'm not perfect, so I'll settle for doing things well, as long as they're right. Dumb, huh? I know that I'm going to fail, and I know that I probably need to fail at a few things in order to learn from them. But I'm a perfectionist and I don't want to fail, or if I am going to fail, I want to make sure I do it RIGHT so I can learn from it. Yep, I know I have a wacky sense of perspective. These are things I've known about myself and worked on for a long time, and it looks like I'm going to continue working on them for some time to come. But for now, excuse me while I go read a book.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Police Report
See? It's not even good graffiti. Which I know isn't the point, but still, if we have to get tagged, couldn't they at least put some artistic effort into it? I went in today and filed the police report. It was relatively painless, but I was still somewhat resentful that I had to go in on my day off. I realize that ministry isn't a 9-5 job and I often have to be places on my day off, but to go in for this is just annoying. Once again I say, little punks. So we'll paint over it and I'll pray that those responsible find more constructive ways to spend their time.
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