I found out yesterday that a friend of mine from high school had a brain aneurysm over a week ago and her family decided to take her off life support. She died yesterday afternoon. I am in shock. We hadn't seen each other much lately as we drifted apart after college, but we'd recently reconnected on facebook. She was one of my best friends in High School. There was a group of 6 of us that hung out as the "non-drinkers" in our school. She made me laugh hysterically. We had adventures that got us stuck in the mud, had me driving her car into a ditch when she tried to teach me to drive a stick, getting my dad's flashlight run over by a logging truck. I will always think of her when I think of caramellos. And Dr. Pepper. And Beef Jerky. (usually all at the same time when we were driving around) The world seems a little dimmer without her in it. At the same time, it's all so surreal. We're too young for this, right? She is the 2nd person in our class to die, which maybe doesn't sound so bad, but when you graduate with a class of 40, most of whom you went to kindergarten with, it makes it harder. Someone pointed out that it's 5% of our class. I didn't need to know that. I will miss my friend.

Sigh

I'm having a flirtation. I have no idea if it will actually go somewhere, but at the moment I'm enjoying that giddy, new relationship high. Now I just need to channel some of that excess energy into figuring out what to do once I'm without a call in a month...

Friday 5--"If"

1. If you were a color, what would you be?

Blue! It's my favorite color, and I love it in pretty much all of it's shades. It can be bright and cheerful or dark, almost black. I can almost always find a shade of blue to match my mood.

2. If you were a flower (or plant), what would you be?
I have no idea. I love lilacs but don't know how to make that into an appropriate metaphor...

3. If you were an animal, what kind would you be?

I want to say something big and fierce and cool, but I think I'll go with turtle. They're quiet, in their shell, move slowly. Oh, except I should amend this to snapping turtle, because I do occasionally get feisty.

4. If you were a shoe, what type would you be?
Oooh--a magical shoe that was both amazing and impractical and fancy while at the same time being comfortable and sturdy and appropriate.

5. If you were a typeface, which font would you be?
Comic Sans MS, but again I don't have a good metaphor for this one. Did I mention I kind of suck at metaphors? Except that they remind of me of my OT prof in seminary who used to yell "it's a metaphor!" And that just makes me giggle.

Memory Loss

Sometimes I wonder/worry about the things I've forgotten. I was having a conversation with a friend recently (we went to school k-12 together) and he brought up something from math class. Our last names are close in the alphabet so we were frequently seated together. Actually, my mom says teachers used to make me sit next to him not because of the alphabet, but because I was the only one who could keep him under control. I don't remember that. Of course, the teachers probably wouldn't have shared that little tidbit with me, so I might not need to worry about forgetting that particular information. Anyhoo...he brought up something he clearly remembered from a high school math class and I had no idea what he was talking about. After thinking about it for awhile I think I might have a vague memory of it, but no clear details. Sometimes I feel like I've either blocked or forgotten big chunks of my life. Another example: I was trying to remember specific details from the year I lived in the campus ministry apartment during college. I remember lots of random things, but they don't add up to a whole year. Is that weird? I also can't remember the last name of my roommate during that year. On the other hand, I can remember all sorts of useless s--- from pop culture. It's weird, and possibly disturbing. Maybe I should get one of those memory enhancing game thingies...

So, here it is the week of Christmas, and I am confused. I keep thinking Christmas Eve is on Wednesday. Of course, when I realize it's Thursday I feel like I've gotten an extra day in the week, but I just can't seem to convince my brain that Christmas Eve is Thursday, NOT Wednesday. Weird. In other news, my shopping, wrapping and delivering are done. I did not do cards this year, though. I used to make my own Christmas cards. MAKE them. And I was in college. And it was finals. This year I couldn't even seem to find the energy to write a letter, whether for snail-mail or e-mail. I'm thinking maybe I'll send out an Epiphany letter this year or something. I swear, I used to be organized. At least I thought I was. I don't even have children. I can't imagine how much crazier I'd be if I were trying to balance everything plus a family. I'm impressed with everyone who makes that work. And there you go--my random post. Merry (week of) Christmas!

Call Process

I haven't posted much lately, and I haven't done an update on the call process at all. It's partly because, well, I hate the call process. (I know! Don't say hate!) And maybe hate is too strong a word, but I do find the process frustrating. It's a communication thing, in that call committees most often suck in that department. I've had 2 interviews so far, and 2 rejections. To be fair, the 2nd time was great with communication, but the first time the committee didn't call or e-mail for 3 weeks until they finally (only after I contacted them first) called to tell me they weren't moving forward with me as a candidate. Just call and break up with me already! So, yes, I find it frustrating, and it's probably better that I don't update on a regular basis and vent. At any rate the process is still, um...processing. I meet with another Senior Pastor next week (and no, I'm not only looking for an associate call, it's just what's come up so far), so we'll see how that goes. In the meantime the new interim starts here on November 1st, so it will be another transition. I'm looking forward to having another person on staff, but not necessarily looking forward to the transition. The office manager asked me last week, "is he going to tell us what to do?" Well, yeah, he is. Let's just hope he's nice about it...

Friday Five--Shoes!!!

Too often the Friday Fives I offer up seem extremely introspective, so here's something that could be fun. I notice as I finish my sixth decade that my taste in footwear is much different than when I was younger, as comfort wins out over fashion. So look at your feet and think about what you put on them!

1. What is your favorite footwear at this time in your life?

I definitely have shoes that I wear because they are comfortable and practical, but I LOVE shoes, and they're usually fun and less than practical. I think right now my favorites would be either my black or brown boots that I wear with skirts. During the summer I love my Keens, but also have a variety of fun sandals. Probably my absolute favorite, though, would be the patent leather red pumps I wore for my ordination.

2. What was the craziest shoe, boot, or sandal you ever wore?

I had some suede shoes in high school that were patchwork. They were navy, hunter green and fuchsia. I loved them. But looking back they were pretty crazy.

3. What kind of shoes did you wear in your childhood?

Purple jelly shoes!

4. How do you feel most comfortable? Barefoot, flip-flops, boots, or what?

I'm one of the rare people who detests flip flops. I just hate that thing between my toes. As for comfort, despite my love of shoes I also love to be barefoot. Shoes come off as soon as I'm home, and I frequently have them off at work. If they're easy to kick off I also prefer to preach barefoot.

5. What kind of socks do you like, if any?

Oooh, fuzzy socks are the best.

Bonus: Anything you want to share about feet or footwear.

My sister just told me I have more shoes than God. Which is probably true since I imagine God doesn't really need shoes. I definitely have an addiction. It's kind of a running joke at church. People now pay attention to what shoes I'm wearing, and generally comment more on my footwear than on my sermons. Not sure if that's good or bad...

Do I have to Come Back?

In the last few weeks (partly because I've been sick, partly because it's excellent distraction from real life) I've been hanging out in Austen/Bronte-land. I read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which was hilarious and disturbing. I also read the Eyre Affair, which I could try to explain, but it would take too long. Alternate reality, characters crossing over from fiction to that reality, main character spending an extended period inside of the novel Jane Eyre. I have watched Pride and Prejudice (the mini-series, yay Colin Firth!), Bride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion, and Jane Eyre (the Masterpiece theater mini-series). I decided last night after watching Jane Eyre that I like these stories and I would like to stay. Does this mean I need therapy of some sort?

Horoscope

Yeah right...

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)

Love and money will go hand in hand this week. Of course, you should never rule out spending time with someone who interests you intellectually. But this week, we think you’re going to find yourself in the fortunate position of not having to answer the following question: Was it love, or was it the jet plane to Paris for a private eight-course candle-lit dinner at the top of the Eiffel Tower?

Frustrated

It seems like it's always my goal to eat healthier, get more exercise, lose some weight. I'm actually doing better on the first 2. Not perfect, but definitely better than past endeavors. My frustration comes in these stupid 10 pounds that I have been gaining and losing for what seems like the last 800 years. Yes, that's hyperbole, but I think it helps demonstrate my frustration level. In this most recent endeavor I lost 2 pounds and then gained 6. Part of that was vacation, but still. It's like every time I get toward the bottom of those 10 pounds I backslide and start gaining. Which leads me to wonder if I'm sabotaging myself. And if that's the case, then that's just really darn annoying.

Long Time, No Post

So, I haven't posted in a very long time. The strange thing about my brain (OK, ONE of the of the strange things about my brain) is that I tend to think in illustrations: sermon illustrations, blog posts, newsletter articles, etc., but I almost never use them. Which probably makes me a big dork, but whatever. Anyhoo, I've thought about posting many times, but I either put it off or I get side-tracked, or I have a little moment of self-pity and I think, "well, no one reads this stupid thing anyway.'' Then the other part of my brain tells the first part to shut up and get over it, and then the first part sulks. It's always a good time in my brain... Again, I say whatever. Point being, I haven't written in almost a month. Here are a few things I might have written about if I weren't a big slacker:

• Vacation! I took 2 weeks off in June. I spent the first week at home with the fam, and the 2nd week hanging out with a friend in the Seattle area. Ahhh....good stuff.
• Part of vacation was doing the Holidays day with the kiddos. It was just the 4 nieces this year as the other family had planned to come but then forgot and scheduled something else. Oldest niece decided after 8 years that she just wanted to be a helper this year, and youngest niece is now 3, so this was her first year of getting to participate.
  
• I came back from vacation to be the only pastor here at Made up Name LC. This wasn't a surprise, I knew it was coming, of course, but it's definitely an adjustment, and I have to say I'm not particularly enjoying the new, longer hours.
• I'm caving to the pressure and reading the Twilight series. I'm only 2 chapters in, so I can't say too much about it. It's strange, because usually I love anything with vampires, but I have had no desire to read this series. But people keep talking about it and I feel like I should have an idea of what they're talking about. I'm also going to read The Shack for the same reason (just not the vampires).
• Speaking of reading, I recently completed my annual re-read of Harry Potter. Then I re-read the Little House series. I read it a bunch of times as a kid, but it's probably been 20 years since the last time, and it was interesting to read it as an adult, with a different perspective.

I know there are other things I thought of, but now they've gone somewhere else. Maybe I'll try to post more so the random things don't disappear. Or maybe it's better that I don't post and the random things go away, never to be seen or heard from again.

Weekend

This past weekend was good, just crazy busy. It was wedding 3 of 3, which went well, but it was approximately 8 million degrees in the sanctuary, and a woman collapsed after so the paramedics were called. I felt really bad for her. It was kind of an odd picture, though, the receiving line went out the front door, and at the end was an ambulance. Not exactly what you would hope for at a wedding. Sunday was SP's last day. We only had 1 service with a reception after. It went OK. Lots of people were really confused at how fast everything seemed to happen. The bishop was here last Sunday, but since it was Memorial Day weekend we had very low attendance, so not as many people as we'd hoped were around to hear her speak and ask her questions. After the reception I had an executive committee meeting, then a New Orleans youth group meeting, and then I went home to pack and drive 200+ miles for a graduation party. The trip was definitely worth it as it's one of my favorite people in the whole world. I just can't believe she's graduating, since when I started babysitting her she was 2 1/2. Man, I'm old. She's absolutely gorgeous, she was co-Valedictorian, and had just won several events at the state track meet the day before. Yep, she's amazing, and I'm immensely proud of her.

Oh, and here's one of the many reasons I love living in MT: on the drive over I stopped at a gas station to use the bathroom and get something to drink. As I went up to pay the cashiers were having this conversation:

"It's a good thing he didn't break into MY house, I sleep with a dagger under the bed."

"Uh huh, I've got my gun right on the night stand. I'da shot him for sure."

I have no idea what the original story was, but their follow-up comments made me laugh.

Weddings

3 weekends, 3 weddings. I'm officiating at last weekend's and next weekend's, but today I was simply a guest. Well, sort of. The short version of the story is that I did the premarital counseling for this couple since the bride's childhood pastor is now in Michigan. I guess he didn't want to commute for the counseling. :-) So I did the premarital and he did the service. But, it was the first wedding in a long time where I had absolutely nothing to do during the service. I was trying to think while driving there when the last wedding was that I wasn't involved in, and couldn't. I've been the pastor, the intern, a musician, a bridesmaid or maid of honor, the bride's personal assistant. Anyhoo, it was a lovely service and an absolutely gorgeous day. But, I think I'm now ruined for weddings, too. I have trouble sitting through worship that I'm not leading because I pick it apart, and I did the same thing with the wedding today. Not necessarily negative stuff, my brain just swirls around and around as I compare what we do at our church, or I do as a worship leader, how I like some things that are different, how I would never do some things a certain way, etc. Sometimes I wish my brain would shut up!

Here are 2 other random tidbits for this entry: yesterday while driving home I hiccoughed while sneezing and almost drove off the road. Weird. Last Sunday when I drove to church there was a dead skunk in the middle of the road. Very smelly. Then, on Tuesday when I drove home after being gone for 2 days I noticed that someone had spray painted the skunks white stripes green. On the one hand I find it amusing. On the other, I think someone has way too much time on his or her hands!

Transition

Oh, the times, they are a-changing. But then again, what else is new? Things have been crazy around here for the last month or so. It's now been announced to the congregation, so I guess I can type about it, here. SP, for a variety of very complicated reasons, is resigning. Since I have a co-terminus call, I will also be leaving. I can stay until I have another call, but of course this means that I will soon be back in the call process. And then I will have to move again. Things here have been overly dramatic and sometimes downright crappy over the last year, but I still didn't think I would be back in the call process after only a year. I SO do not want to move again. So I'm worried about SP and his health during this process, I'm angry at certain parts of the congregation, thankful for other parts of the congregation, bitter about the call process and moving, hopeful that things will work out, scared about the future, and about 10,000 other emotions. Prayers are appreciated, for me, the SP, the congregation, random strangers--you know--whomever!

Friends Friday Five

So today let's write about the different kinds of friends we have, like childhood friends, lost friends, tennis friends, work friends, and the list goes on. List 5 different types of friends you have had in your life and what they were/are like.

1. When I was preschool age we had neighbors across the street who had a daughter. I didn't know her long, but she was my bestest friend at the time. After they moved I had an imaginary friend with the same name. I sometimes wonder where she ended up (the real friend, not the imaginary friend--I'm still in touch with the imaginary one!).

2. In high school I had 5 friends that I consistently hung out with. We were the somewhat dorky, good kids who got together to eat pizza and watch movies most weekends. We didn't drink, we didn't get in trouble, we were kind of boring. Except once we broke a barn. And once we broke me and had to move the party to the emergency room...

3. In college I met the woman who is now my best friend. I think we must have known each other in a past life (or lives) because we clicked immediately. It all started with the Beatles and a random conversation about eggnog. We know everything about each other, and often joke that we'd better be friends forever simply because of the blackmailing possibilities that are out there if we ever get good and truly pissed at one another! :-)

4. After college and before seminary I moved to TX and had 2 jobs that I wasn't overly thrilled with. The jobs weren't great, but the friends I made at them were. In fact, today I am waiting to hear about the babies who were born to one of those friends just this morning. Last I heard Mom was in recovery and twin girls were doing well. Can't wait to hear the details of names and size! Yay babies!

5. And then there was seminary. I was blessed with lots of people I can call friends in that community, but there are 2 who definitely stand out from the rest. Oh, the stories. Laughing so hard my stomach hurt for what seemed like hours afterward. Watching truly bad TV. Drinking lime smashes. I miss those 2.

Horoscope

Well, that's just wrong. And mean. And depressing. I mean, really...

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)Start thinking about love…cause that’s as close as you’re going to get to it this week. Ouch! Yep, tough love is all you’ll be getting this week. Not to salt your wounds, but if you defy the stars and actually try to get close to someone, it will be the wrong someone. Best to just stay home with some good [chocolate].

Weird Research

I read a friend's facebook status today and it said something about how his daughter (who is in kindergarten) got off the bus today and told him that cobras don't pee. Huh. So I asked him if she said why? He said no. Which then led me to start searching on google. Now, I appreciate curiosity, and I'm always open to learning new things, but it did strike me as somewhat funny/odd that this is what I was doing with my Monday night. Maybe I need to get out more?

Friends

I have amazing friends. Sometimes I let myself get so wrapped up in my own drama that I forget what beautiful and truly grace-filled people are in my life. I'm trying not to take them for granted. Thank you for your friendship, love, support, prayers and laughter! If I can be half the friend that you all are to me, I think I'll be doing OK.

Labyrinth Part 2

Yesterday after church we took the 9th grade Confirmation class on a field trip to a labyrinth about 30 miles south of town. The setting was lovely, and we didn't get snowed or rained on (both of which were possibilities), so that was a plus. The students seemed to enjoy the outing, and I don't think I've ever seen them that quiet for that long. It took over a half an hour to walk the entire labyrinth and they were silent the whole time. All in all it was a good trip, I think, except for this: The kids were well behaved, but I felt totally immature the whole time. I understand the concept of a labyrinth, and I enjoyed being out and walking in a beautiful setting, but I had a hard time feeling anything meaningful during my walk. It didn't help that I had the fish slapping song from Spamelot stuck in my head. Plus, every time I would pass someone going the other way on the path, I really wanted to do high-fives, and I kept thinking of sarcastic things to comment upon. All of this was in my own head, of course, but I felt bad for not being more into the experience. Oh well. Maybe next time. Kudos to the kids, though!

Sigh

I got to church at 9:00 this morning. I realize that this is late compared to some jobs, but it's not like I strolled in at noon and left for the day at 2:00 or some such craziness. Anyhoo, I walk in the front door and immediately one of our old guys says to me, "some of us have already put in a full day's work." (We have men's breakfast at 6:30 on Wednesday mornings.) At first I was speechless, I felt like I stared at him for a full 5 minutes with my mouth hanging open. It was probably only 2 or 3 seconds, it just felt longer, until I said, "some of us were here until 8:00 last night." I know there are better ways to respond to statements like that, but that's what popped out. Sigh. Someday I'll learn the more tactful response. It would be more hopeful to think that someday those comments will stop coming, but I'm not confident that's going to happen.