Monday, December 29, 2008

New Year's Horoscope

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)Oh, this really cracks us up. The stars have a teeny-tiny recommendation for you this week: "Look for someone who can dazzle your mind and challenge your every thought." Yeah, like it's really that easy. No big deal, right? Geez, and all this time we've been chasing dullards with no sex appeal. How come no one told us we should chase the catch of the day? Well, Aries, before you get all cocky like us, stop and think for a second: When was the last time you really went after someone you wanted bad, someone you thought you couldn't get? Are you settling to avoid rejection? Do we sound like your shrink yet? Have you called your mother lately? Your New Year's resolution: Shoot for the moon and maybe you'll end up shagging a little star. And call your mother.
Huh. I just had this conversation with someone recently (um, without that last part about shagging--that would have just been awkward). Stupid universe. Now, where do I find this supposed catch? He wasn't at the funeral I just went to (she says sarcastically). But I have called my mother recently, so stop nagging!

1 comment:

k-bomb said...

I think you should see if there are any single Episcopal priests in your town. Or Jewish rabbis. That would be cool. Or just some guy who works at the university in nuclear physics...I'm sure they always need dates. The options are endless. And if you end up shagging just think of our friend the Vicar of Dibley and bolts of lightening.